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Wormeater and Starlight

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The Onion Bookcover resize thumbnail copy“Boy, was that ever stupid,” Wormeater stood up, angrily. He hit the desk in front of Scarlotti with his fist in rage. “What are you trying to do, win the Nobel Peace Prize? You know what you’re supposed to do, when someone’s trying to take over! So, what are you waiting for? It’s all because of her,” Wormeater pointed an accusing finger at Starlight who was still quietly reading her novel in the corner of the room. “She’s the one who’s making you act so stupid! You’re not taking care of business! Blow – them – away! Do you need me to draw it all out for you on a chalkboard? Jesus Christ! Now, you call Jackson back in here right -”

With a small cry of outrage, Starlight stood up, and threw the novel down on the ground, pointing her finger at Wormeater.

Hey!” she said, starting to come around the desk, angrily. “All right, that’s it, pal,” she said, her eyes flashing. “You just bought yourself a one-way ticket to the end.”

Wormeater screamed in terror as once more, the angel moved with nanosecond speed, and held him up off his feet with one hand, right next to Scarlotti’s desk.

The demon struggled again with Starlight’s grip, and he kicked his feet vainly, howling in terror.

“No!” Wormeater screamed. “No! It’s not my time yet! Let me down. I won’t do it again. I swear!”

“Boy,” Starlight shook her head. “No wonder you wound up in hell. You really like being bad, don’t you?”

Wormeater sobbed, and held out his hands in a supplicating manner. “Please, please, no Starlight. Please? Come on, give me a break would you? It was just a slip of the tongue. An honest mistake! Please don’t do this! I won’t do it again. I promise! I beg you to have mercy on me!”

“Oh, mercy huh? Like the mercy you showed to poor Moonglow the day that you, and Satan rebelled? As I recall, you killed him mercilessly.”

“But that was war Starlight, I mean it’s all over now. Things are different now.”

“Yeah? How?” Starlight shook her head. “To the best of my knowledge, you’ve continued to act in just the same way ever since to us angels, and to people like Scarlotti here,” she held him up higher. “I should have done this the very first time back on the steps of the courthouse, crowd or not.”

“No! Starlight! Please no!

“So you like to blow people away do you?”

Wormeater began to scream a high pitched wail, as Starlight puffed her cheeks, and began to blow gently in Wormeater’s direction. Scarlotti watched in fascination as Wormeater began to ripple in the breeze just like a flag. Small, red sparks blew away from Wormeater like a campfire in the wind, and his screams became fainter, and fainter.   He became more, and more indistinct fading away into nothingness, as the volume of red sparks gradually faded away too. Finally, all that was left of him was the small scrap of clothing that Starlight held in her hand, and smiling slightly, she puffed that away too like a small collection of noisome dust.

“Boy, you don’t kid around do you?” Scarlotti said in awe. He’d seen, and ordered the lives of many people snuffed out in his sordid lifetime, but the finality, and the efficiency of what Starlight just did to Wormeater surprised, and appalled him.

“Yeah, well, he was getting to be a real nuisance,” Starlight sighed as she dusted off her hands, and picked up her novel from the floor. “Besides, he crossed the line once too often. You can’t let demons get away with that stuff or else they’ll walk all over you.”

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